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Valentine blues❤🌤- living your best February 14th life yet

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February 14th is here again, finally after all the hype the day of love, gifts, partying and perfect dates is here again. A day where people in relationships or partners show and give undivided attention to their partners. Now that’s all good and cute, but today this post is for my single ladies and gentlemen, so if you’re going to be enjoying your day with your significant other this post might be biased to you, but it’s all love.

Now as a bonafide member of the SINGLES ASSOCIATION❤, there is usually a high tendency of  feeling lonely or that you’re  missing out on something magical based on the public display of affection you will be seeing all over the internet and even around your environment, this also applies to those in relationships. You see having a partner doesn’t guarantee that you won’t feel lonely at times or feel like you aren’t getting enough attention. That’s why I’m here for you, sit down grab some popcorn and a soda and just relax as I take you through some steps on how to live your best life yet on Valentine’s day without feeling left out and how to make the most of Valentine’s day while you’re at it.

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Now the society has made been in the relationship as a standard for adulthood or maturity especially for women. It is like a goal to tick off your to-do list as some sort of accomplishment but I tend to disagree with such model. Now been in a relationship just because the society or the people around you are in one and you just don’t want to feel left out is plain wrong. But if you’re in a relationship for all the right reasons then by all means enjoy it.

Ways to enjoy Valentine’s day even when single;

  1. Me – time:  Now this is quite self explanatory, we spend most of our time worrying about different things in our ever busy roller coaster lives.

download (2).jpeg         Now this is a day set aside by the universe for you to enjoy been you, for you to do a bit of self evaluation of things going on in your life. We spend so much time on chasing things we want to achieve and give zero time into appreciating the efforts we have made and how far we’ve gone from where we were before.

We don’t appreciate the little steps we’ve made, well I present to you a “Valentine special me-time” package free of charge. You can also use this day to go visit that restaurant , that amusement park from your childhood, that new ice cream parlour by the street you have always craved for. Feel free let go of whatever burden you have been carrying ,let go and have fun.

You deserve it pamper yourself , go for a new hair cut, go shopping, try out that amazing dress or that new suit, go swimming, go for that beauty treatment, visit that masseuse, try making that meal, try baking that cake do whatever the hell you want to do.

And if by chance you happen to have a job to be at on Valentine’s day ,then still make the most out of it. Order that take out with that champagne, get your party shoes and dress ready the night time is yours😂😂. Don’t stress it and for God’s sake don’t over spend, we don’t want to be paying off debts days after Feb14th.

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2) Spend time with your girl friends and homies – now we all have people who have been in our lives for such a long time and impact on us positively but how many times have we actually celebrated such positivity, we all are used to talking about talking off the bad ones but never seem to notice the good ones always there to support us and comfort us. Well presenting to you the “Valentine day friendship appreciation special” package.

   Spend time with those friends of your have a little day or night out with your girls or go watch a match with the guys. If by chance some of them happen to be in relationships so have plans for val day that shouldn’t dampen the spirit, you can always have the outing after Valentine’s day.

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The main aim is for you and your friends to have a good time, share stories and just have fun. It’s a celebration of friendships and a celebration of your future together. It is simply a time to motivate, support and just chill with those who have made life a little better for you by their presence alone. So come on pause for a minute and go plan that outing we talked about. Enjoy yourselves, show them how much they mean to you,no matter how busy we’re, this is one day we should have time for them.

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3) Gift yourself-  ikr who does this. Well we’re going to do it and enjoy it. You remember that favourite chocolate of your choice that you would have loved that man in your life to gift you or that flower you would have loved to receive or those perfumes you have been dying to have or that movie you have been meaning to watch, well go out of that damn house and go get it for yourself.

Go on don’t wait, stop holding in things you would love to have because you would prefer having it gifted to you, well the gift given by oneself trust me is more precious and would make you feel way better. The greatest love that can ever be shown is the love you how yourself. Remind yourself of how precious you’re and use this gifts to appreciate yourself for getting through the year so far and wish yourself better things as you move forward. Can I recommend you rewatch aquaman😇 seriously I love that movie😂

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4) Self comparison and regret –  at some point during the day ,you might fall into a bout of self comparison as you look through your Instagram or your WhatsApp status. You might come across that girl or that boy been showered with so much love and gifts and you might begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you. You might begin to wonder if you aren’t beautiful or handsome enough, you might begin to think of that relationship you just ended and you begin to wonder what you did wrong or what you could have done better.

Self loathing and questions begin to swirl in your mind, once it begins look into the mirror and remember this : you’re beautiful/ handsome and loved, the fact you aren’t in a relationship doesn’t take anything away from how special you’re. You don’t need a relationship to be validated, the right woman or man will find you and when that time come it will only be an addition to an already perfect you. Any relationship lost wasn’t meant to be and you refuse to blame or be blamed for something that doesn’t exist anymore ,rather you choose to rise above it all and be a better person for yourself and for whoever will be lucky enough to have you next. 

Be sure of one thing whoever you are reading this, I do love you and appreciate you .❤

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God’s plan- not yours😇

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In a life full of challenges we all want attention, we all need love,we all want to be seen as beautiful or handsome,we all want to be treated as priceless by those we consider our own but the fact is that we cannot always get what we want.

We cannot always get what we deserve but we can choose who we deserve .

Some might ask “how is that possible”? You might find yourself in a situation or in relationships or in friendships where you’re not happy or fulfilled in them but you go along with it cause you feel like you can’t get anyone better. Does that ring a bell?

You go along with been the second fiddle, with been insulted ,abused,looked down on because of your own fear. You’re so scared of losing that person or people around you that you end up overlooking God’s plan for you.

God let’s you go through certain problems, certain difficulties, certain failures and even certain relationships and friendships just to prove to you that you deserve the best. He let’s you go against His own special will so as to prove his power over you,He let’s you go ahead and date that man or that woman even though He knows it’ll cause you pain and heartache at the end because He is preparing you for His special and perfect plan.

The question is that will you avail yourself for that plan or will you keep holding on to that mistake. It might be difficult, it might be heart breaking but isn’t that temporary hurt a small price to pay for a permanent and God-influenced joy ,happiness and peace.

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You might be weak but God’s strength through Jesus is manifested to take care of every weak spot. You might be lost but God’s word will serve as a light to your path and a lamp to your feet. You might be emotionally drained but God’s love will keep you. All you’ve to do is give into Him He’s God over your life ,He’s a covenant keeping God and He’ll keep his part of His covenant and help you keep yours as well. He’s Lord over all. His name is Yahweh.

I might not understand what you put there might be going through but there’s one man who understands and is ready to serve serve a shield ,a comforter, a teacher and a guide to you in every situation of life. He will never leave you or forsake you, He isn’t a man that he’ll lie,He is a covenant keeping God. He is Yahweh. Trust in Him the going might be tough but you serve a tougher God.

#bleedwordsforchrist. #christians #shalom #worldforchrist #HeisGod

Abbey❤- https://lifeandrelationshipsissues.wordpress.com/2019/01/02/gods-plan-not-yours/

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New year, new me – or whatever🚶

Keeping to your new year resolutions

Hey guys, a happy new year to y’all🎊🎊.

It’s the first day of the year,and am sure as usual we’ve prepared and made notes of our yearly new year resolutions. You probably have written down what you think /know you should work on before the next year. Now my question for you is this; would your zeal for this resolution last till the next month?

Now personally I have never made a new year resolution, I rather have thoughts of things I should work on. Am guessing some of y’all are wondering, isn’t that a new year resolution? Well to me it’s not cause I make no commitment to achieving it. But I rather make a conscious effort to try to be the best version of myself without putting unnecessary pressure on myself .

But hey,that’s my own personal ish and it has worked for me. But, for you guys who sincerely make new year resolutions with the intention to keep them and finally cross it off your life list. I am here for you , so sit back and let’s go through this together.

I am sure most of us have always wondered why our resolutions never see the day of light. Fine we might go through with them for probably the first two months or less or more but we never seem to actually see it through to the end or even accomplish it.

Setting new year goals and actually achieving them.

  • Most of us make the mistake of setting goals without a plan . It isn’t about making the resolutions but having a plan that ll help you achieve a goal. Don’t try to achieve it all at once, break it down into smaller portions and set a small daily or weekly goal that ll bring you closer to achieving the dream goal. It all begins with small steps.
  • Me,myself and I: does that sound familiar yea that’s what we have in mind when we make our new year resolutions. Well this really isn’t so bad , but then making resolution will be more successful if we can have a group being us.

Goals like losing weight ,attending the gym and learning a new skill ll be better if we get people that share the same zeal we have this will inspire us to do more and more. Move with people who’re better and know more about you -this will push you to do better. But then avoid negative and toxic people whose intention is to bring you down and discourage you.

XXL(extra extra large) goals: You cannot keep making larger than life goals to achieve within a short time ,this will just lead to disappointment. Start from smaller goals that will lead to the big one. Don’t go straight to the biggest goal . Take it step by step and day by day. You don’t conquer a mountain form the top but you have to start from the bottom to get to the top.

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  • One of the greatest mistakes you’re most probably making is giving up too easily, once you face a series of roadblock on your path to achieving your goals you drop it all and you just give up.

Your ability to strive on in the face of obstacles and things that are purposed to bring you down, makes you and builds you ingot he person you are meant to be.

Abbey 2019
  • The two most important factors are; time and money . How we wish we can just control the time -something like the time -jerker⏰. Well wishes are not horses, so we’ve to make use of what we have. Your ability to achieve your goals depends on your ability to manage your time effectively. As well as your finances, sometimes we try to overspend to achieve our goals . For example you want to lose weight,you can do this without breaking the bank and nope you mustn’t go to the gym ,try and stick to less expensive ways to achieve your goals❤
  • Set achievable goals; most of us make goals that are not achievable by any standards. Set smaller realisable goals and achieve it, this will give confidence for you to face and achieve other bigger ones.
  • Lack of self confidence; most of us put too much pressure on ourselves, that we fail to see our own progress. We fail to congratulate ourselves for our own progress.
  • We keep comparing our progress with that of others and degrade our own achievements. This shouldn’t be, be confident and happy with whatever progress you make. Congratulate yourself and give yourself a pat on the back.

With this few tips ,I know you’re sure to have a better and more productive year❤.

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Christmas thoughts anyone? Is it actually all fun and food and family!!

Am sure most of us dread moments like this😧

So, Christmas has come and gone but for some this Christmas has left them even worse off than before. Am sure we’re all thinking 🤔 that’s impossible right? After all Christmas is a time of fun,family and food ,let’s not forget the drinks 🍸as well. It’s a time most of us dedicate to loved ones both family and friends alike. But then for some Christmas tends to leave a bitter taste in their mouth that will most probably last till the next 365days of the new year.

Now here is a scenario you might be familiar with, there’s a variety of food and drinks and you’re ready to dig in and just have a good time, but a discussion comes up about what everyone has been up to during the year.

1.Your brother just graduated or ended the semester with amazing grades.

2.Sister has probably got a new job and she is receiving cool cash.

3. Cousin just did her engagement and looking forward to his/her wedding.

4. Your aunt is having a baby but then another of your cousin just bought a new car and just moved into a new apartment.

Everyone is so busy narrating how much fun they have had ,how much they have grown, the numerous wonderful expectations of the next year, but no one notices YOU who hasn’t made any contributions so far.

What you might be thinking of!!

If your thoughts are influenced by the achievements or the perception of others about you ,then the problem isn’t them but rather your lack of appreciation for your own achievements. No matter how small they might be.

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The thought of the different scars littering your body from all the cuts you’ve inflicted, all the time you’ve thought of ending it all(maybe it’ll be better that way), you think back on the job(s) lost, the failing grades,the poor academic results, the lack of promotion at work, the broken hearts, the inability to pay rent or even buy fuel for your car(if you bought one), the divorce, the abuse and victimization.

After cracking your brain a little bit you still cannot think of anything which you should be proud of except of course still been alive counts as an achievement. Thinking to the depression you’ve fought with throughout the year, you look back to the amount of friends you’ve lost during the year, the betrayals you’ve felt and have been subjected to during the year , the loved ones you’ve lost during the year with or without an opportunity to say goodbye.

All these weighs deep on your heart. Looking around the room you see the smiles on everyone’s face,the joy they all exude as they chit chat during the meal of their “dream perfect life”. What else can you do ,but to put up a strong front and join in, you laugh louder than everyone else in the room, you chip in here and there in each discussion.

You just don’t want to ruin a perfect celebration with tour imperfect life. But then, I am here to let you know that those perceived imperfections, those awful events, those hurtful events all these summed together proves that more than anyone witted in that room you’re a survivor, you must not have it all together.

It’s ok to be confused, out of sorts, abnormal, depressed, sad,anxious and just weighed down. But it’s how to take charge of this situation and turn it into something positive, all this negative events should serve as a driving force to push you to greater heights and greater thoughts. It’s when faced with challenges we are able to tap into our own intelligence and bring forth solutions we never imagined possible.

Instead of sitting on that table feeling bad and all gloomy, refuse to be weighed down by other people’s reality, no need to put up a facade to please or fit into societal or family standards, it might not be easy but then trying to be what you’re not does greater harm than good .

The fact remains that you’re not like the facade you put up, you are unique and you need to tap into your potential and rise up and roar like a lion that you’re and refuse to sit back and watch life move you but rather begin to move life itself ,begin to move in the strength of your vision and potential.

So hey ,the Christmas thought of 2018, don’t always move in the direction life pulls you into ,but rather fight through it and create your own direction and ultimate destination. You have one life to live,don’t live it in facade. Go out get that degree, quit that job you don’t like and go apply for your dream job, don’t lower your standards for anyone they either meet up or step off. 2019 is here and I really do care, I refuse to limit myself or my abilities.

I choose ; to take care of mental health and protect my peace and happiness above all things, to surround myself with people and things that seek to bring out only the best in me without the negative pressure.

I choose ; to not be too hard on myself , to push myself to the limit of my greatness but not push myself beyond my limits both emotionally and physically, to not limit myself to societal standards but to rise above all of that to prove that of a fact been different is the new cool❤

❤ I hope this helps you through the new year.

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