Hey guys, it has been a while. For the month of March I started an “emotional abuse series ” over at my blog @ http://www.abbeyschronicles.com , and this topic was in part five of the series and I felt the need to share it as well. Feel free to check out the other parts of the series if you would like.
Body dysmorphia is a mental illness when one believes a part or parts of their body is ugly or unpleasant to look at due to a perceived flaw. It usually begins from the age of 11-13yrs of age when one begins to get conscious of their appearance.
Now most people don’t realize that constantly pointing out what they perceive as the other person’s bodily flaw will slowly produce a mindset for the person. I for one have had people point out my weight to me both friends, family and strangers alike and uptill today I get so conscious around people because I feel they are talking about my weight or judging me.
I have had friends and people I trust come at me about my weight knowing that’s one part of me that can get to me. They would drop comments about it when we’re out. I would convince myself at that time that they just said without meaning to hurt me but the fact still remained that I was hurt.
I always knew I was skinnier than other girls and I have always fought with this part of me for most part of my life and people never really let down the opportunity to make silly comments about it behind my back (loud enough for me to hear) or ask degrading questions right to my face such as “why are you this thin” ” you should be eating more” and other comments you can imagine.
And I would feel and still feel like shouting to the world that this isn’t in my power any more, yes I do eat as much as I can and I am a real junkie(i early 3rd as much junk food as I can cause I love’em). At many times I have compared and wished I could wake up in someone else’s body, I have questioned why I had my kind of body and I have slowly sunk into that feeling of depression just by looking at myself.
At a point I hated looking at myself in the mirror,i just felt disgusted and I also have this impression of people judging me by my weight without even getting to know me. I would have friends tell me not to wear this or that and how ashamed they felt going out with me and slowly I have had it engraved within me that there’s something wrong with the way I look and I spend most of my time wishing I was born in a different body.
Now I haven’t quite gotten over this but after cutting off those negative people I choose to rather surround myself with positive people. And when I look at the mirror and begin to beat myself up over the things I don’t like about my body I choose to compliment the features I like about myself. This has really helped a lot to keep me sane on most days.
While if you can relate, some days are spent in a depressive fit, because the overwhelming feeling of not been good enough slowly begins to affect relationships. The fear of meeting someone new having this nagging feeling at the back of your head that you are ugly or not pleasing to look at due to a perceived flaw slowly but surely causes a form of withdrawal.
For those going through this, I can’t just say you should get over it. Because body dysmorphia is a thing of the mind and emotions, so it’s even harder to deal with but all I can tell you is that your flaw is your greatest strength. Anyone who consistently points out that weakness to you or doesn’t make you feel better about yourself shouldn’t be around you.
Protect your mental health and get rid of those people, surround yourself with positivity and body positive people. Then finally work on yourself and your thoughts, whenever you find yourself doubling into the darknessof self loathing and depression, remember one thing – for everyone thing you hate about yourself there are more than five things to love about yourself.
When you look into that mirror and begin to curse out at how you wished you were someone else compliment yourself. Look at the things you like about your body such as your hair length your eyes and any other thing you love
You’re beautiful / handsome. And together we’ll work this journey of hopefully getting through body dysmorphia stronger and better.
If you loved this post then I assure you the other parts in this series are a rollercoaster of emotions and encouragement. Feel free to check the rest out on http://www.abbeyschronicles.com
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